Sunday, December 25, 2005
Troubled On Christmas Day
Everyone is probably out having christmas dinners , shopping cause its like 40% off storewide , celebrating Christmas , having Barbeques , Spending time with family and friends.
Oh well , I'm at home with my brother.
He's on his maple again.
My Grandfather
Just typing this entry makes me tear.
My grandfather is dying soon.
He's very weak right now.
He's face is as pale as a sheet of paper.
He's as thin as a bamboo.
He cant even say a word.
He doesnt have the strength to say anything.
I dont know. I feel bad for my grandfather.
Though i dont show it out , he kinda means alot to me.
He kinda brought me up when i was a kid.
He taught me lots of things.
Like cycling for example.
I still remembered when he would teach me and my other cousins how to ride a bike.
Patiently guiding us along.
He would also play soccer with us.
Basketball , Batminton , Swimming, you name it. He has probably done it with us.
He might be leaving my family on new year's eve. or by the end of next week.
I am afraid, I am really afriad.
I hate goodbyes esp from loved ones.
Though stuff happened between my family and my grandfather last year ,
i know i use to hate him alot.
The "Stuff" that happened , happened during Febuary 2004.
After that incident, I havent visited him since.
Until like this year , i am not sure which month was it.
But it was a LONG period of time that i didnt call him ah kong.
I didnt even see him nor had the chance to speak to him.
Right now he contracted cancer and he's dying very soon.
I feel very bad not spending time with him during those times.
I wished i could turn back time and spend time with him again.
I still remember when i was a kid , he would buy fire crackers and stuff
to make us happy.
Playing with us. Times like that were my happiest moments when i was a child
Now that he is leaving, I feel very sad about it.
I havent since him since wednesday.
I want to see him soon.
I am going to miss me when he leaves us.
What i want to tell him is ,
Ah kong , I love you.
